


Triple-Double

by orphan_account



Category: Butterfly on a Wheel | Shattered (2007), Canadian 6 Degrees, Double Happiness (1994), Slings & Arrows, due South
Genre: Basketball, Doppelganger, Massive In Joke, Multi, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-19
Updated: 2013-02-19
Packaged: 2017-11-29 19:39:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/690687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are a lot of blond middle-aged guys in Chicago.  And a couple of theatrically handsome Canadians to boot.  How'd they all end up in the same building on the same day?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Triple-Double

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Double Double](https://archiveofourown.org/works/448406) by [DesireeArmfeldt](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DesireeArmfeldt/pseuds/DesireeArmfeldt). 



> I accuse Desiree Armfeldt! She wrote "Double Double" many months ago, and I wrote this because she didn't realize that "double-double" is not just a way to order coffee in Canada (double milk, double sugar) but also a basketball term. I explained the basketball jargon to her, in what I freely admit was excruciating detail (see end notes) and even wrote this story in an attempt to get her to care (massive, massive failure on that score). She's been encouraging me to post the story ever since. She knows why I picked a fine evening in February to follow through, oh yes she does indeed. She also provided light beta in addition to heavy instigation.
> 
> Also, if it helps, Ray Kowalski (due South), Detective No First Name McGill (Shattered, 2007) and Mark No Last Name (Double Happiness, 1994) were all played by the same actor, as were Benton Fraser (due South) and Geoffrey Tennant (Slings & Arrows).

“Okay, see, if we’re lucky, God willing and the crick don’t rise, Vecchio pulls off a double-double on the court and will be that much more interested in being double-teamed at home,” Ray said to Fraser.

“Hmm,” Fraser said non-committally.

“Hey, a double-double is not easy when it’s cops against firefighters. EMTs, sure, no problem, although those guys are wily bastards. But, lessee…. Vecchio’s already got nine points and four assists and it’s only the half. He pulls off a double-double, he’s gonna be one happy police officer type person. And you and I may well be able to enjoy that happiness.”

“He also has two blocks,” Fraser said. “And that brilliant steal ten seconds after tipoff. Perhaps he can attempt a five-by-five.”

“His rebounding is shit, though,” Ray said sadly. He loved the guy, but facts were facts. “The Vecchio five-by-five ship sailed in junior high.”

“Well, I assumed we were speaking of some sort of fantasy game in which Ray would be able to play a significant number of minutes in the second half. Which would also be in some sort of fantasy world where, having achieved a double-double, Ray would still have the physical stamina to attend to both of his lovers at once.”

“Hey, I thought you were the optimist in this relationship,” Ray said. Before he could augment that thought, Fraser suddenly stiffened beside him.

“What?” Ray demanded.

“That player who just came on the court…who is he?” 

Ray squinted. “For us or for the firemen?”

“Us.”

“That’s McGill,” Ray said. “Detective out of the…dunno. Tenth?”

“McGill looks like you, Ray,” Fraser said. “In addition to sharing the name of the university attended by James Naismith, inventor of basketball.”

“Not this again,” Ray moaned. “’Basketball is a Canadian sport, Ray’,” Ray said in a poor imitation of Fraser’s voice. “Invented in the US,” he said in his own voice. “And Naismith never looked back. Rock Chalk, Jay Hawk.”

“He really does bear a striking resemblance to you,” Fraser insisted. Ray looked down at the court. This really had to be bothering Fraser if he was willing to let a Canadian Heritage Minute go. Before looking at McGill, though, Ray automatically checked out Vecchio. He was currently riding the pine, towels draped over his head and knees, and a third around his neck. Why did Ray find _that_ sexy? 

“Don’t see it,” Ray said, looking at the players on the court. “He’s a middle aged cop with my build and coloring. We’re a dime a dozen.”

Fraser turned to look at Ray. “Oh, much more than a dime,” he said. Why was _that_ sexy? Ray didn’t really care, though. It was sexy, Vecchio swathed in more linens than a white sale was sexy, and they were both going home with him, double-double or not.

****

“Who’s that guy on the court?” Geoffrey asked Mark. Mark looked up from his papers, which he’d been searching for a reference he thought might be useful for Geoffrey’s planned production of _Henry VIII _.__

__“Which guy?” he asked._ _

“The one who looks just like you,” Geoffrey said. He’d sought Mark out after reading an article he had written about the literary implications of gender-blind casting _The Tempest_ , and they’d enjoyed a lively e-mail correspondence. Mark’s view of Shakespeare was totally alien to Geoffrey’s: academic, abstract, rooted in twentieth century literary theory rather than practical theatrical concerns. Which made Geoffrey appreciate Mark’s viewpoint even more. Not that he was going to play along with some of Mark’s more theoretical flights of fancy. 

They’d arranged to meet when Geoffrey had an opportunity to be in Chicago, and, because currently Mark’s wife’s steadiest gig involved covering local non-professional sports for a weekend magazine show, ended up watching the police play firefighters in a “friendly” basketball game. The police, who all seemed to be in their forties, were getting creamed by the firefighters. Who were also in their forties. 

Geoffrey was mostly watching Jade, Mark’s wife. The night before, he’d reluctantly agreed to watch a DVD of Jade, who lived to perform, whether on-stage or as a features reporter, playing Maggie in a Chicago rep production of _Cat on a Hot Tin Roof_. What had started out as being-polite-to-his-hosts had quickly turned into genuine interest. He liked the way Jade moved, both as herself and in character. He wondered if he could get her to come up to New Burbage. He thought she had great potential for Anne Boleyn; an excellent, age-appropriate foil for Ellen as Catherine of Aragon. He was pretty sure, if he could get the fickle bitch known as scheduling on his side, it would make for a great cast. 

__But before he could start fitting himself out for a fat suit, Geoffrey was more immediately intrigued by Mark’s double on the court. “He could be your twin,” Geoffrey told Mark. “Identical twin,” he added. Over the years of dealing with lost sibling and/or doppelganger plots, he’d learned to be specific on that point._ _

__Mark glanced down at the court. “Dunno,” he said, apparently not terribly concerned by the resemblance. “Middle aged guy, my build, my coloring…dime a dozen.”_ _

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so in basketball, there are five vital statistics in a game: points, rebounds, blocks, assists and steals. If a player gets double digits in any two of those categories (say if Vecchio got 10 or more points and 10 or more assist credits for passing the ball to a player who immediately made a field goal), that's a double-double. Double digits in three of those categories would be a triple-double (say, Vecchio gets 10 or more points, 10 or more assist credits and 10 or more blocks, rebounds or steals). And so on, up to a quintuple-double (which has happened twice since basketball statisticians started keeping these kinds of records in the 1970s; both times were in high school women's games).
> 
> A five-by-five would be scoring five or more points and getting the credit five times in all the other categories. That happens very rarely, and even less so since Manute Bol, of happy memory, retired from the NBA.
> 
> "Rock Chalk, Jay Hawk" is a cheer used by University of Kansas fans. James Naismith, Canadian-born inventor of basketball (a feat he performed at the behest of the Springfield, Massachusetts YMCA), was a professor of phys ed at UK for several decades and its occasional chaplain.


End file.
